How To Be A Clean Bottom Gay

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"Whenever guys meet me, they e'er assume I'm a lesser. That wouldn't be a problem if I didn't avoid anal sex. It's non bottoming that scares me; it's making a mess. How do I stay clean downward there?"

Hey, Mike!
Whenever guys see me, they ever assume I'm a bottom. That wouldn't exist a problem if I hadn't avoided anal sex all my life.

I've played with dildos, and so it'south not pain that scares me. It's, well, becoming "too relaxed" and having …um… "uninvited guests" make a mess. Yikes!

How practice those voracious bottoms do it? Their laundry bill must be staggering. I desire to lesser, only I'm scared. How tin can I stay clean down there? Should I douche before I exit in case I meet someone who thinks my name is Helium Heels?
–Bottom Wannabe

Honey Wannabe:
If cleanliness is the only obstacle betwixt you and plutonium-course sex activity, and so I say douche every time you go out. In that location'due south no harm in frequent douching as long as you practice it with plain water.

If you lot don't have precautions, yous might experience the nightmare a good friend of mine had to deal with. In the middle of banging his young man like a sack of cement, he unintentionally pulled all the way out and the suction created a "shit bomb" that hit every corner of the room.

Now, admittedly, the odds of that happening are depression. Even so, if that story doesn't scare you into cleaning your mangina, nothing will. Douching is the best manner to get. Gravy's only good on mashed potatoes.

Even so, most people don't need to douche as long as they eat right and shit effortlessly. Believe it or not, taking a dump the incorrect way, regularly belongings in farts or eating poorly will increase the chances of brown bed sheets.

Hither'southward why: Your anal canal and rectum do not shop carrion. They're only a passageway to empty the colon. Yet, they do store feces if you lot constantly ignore or delay bowel movements. Or block farts. Why? Because it interferes with the rectal reflex that allows shit to go all the mode out of the rectum without leaving stragglers.

And then how exercise you keep the rectal reflex reflexing? By going when y'all have to become and farting when y'all accept to fart (special exceptions fabricated for business presentations, library studies and hit on hotties).

Y'all also need to eat lots of fiber and drinkable lots of water. Together, they'll keep things moving through the colon, downward the rectum and completely out of the canal. If in that location's whatsoever residue, it tin can exist cleaned in the shower with a pinkie mopping.

If you're properly schooled in the toilet arts and yous're eating enough fiber to cement the government's food pyramid to the flooring, then all you need is a surface cleaning. Even so, every once in a while you might want to douche, which is French for cleaning a trunk cavity.

Here's how: Stick a h2o-belongings instrument in your butt, clasp the h2o into your rectum, clench your sphincter to hold the water in for a minute or so, then let the water out. Repeat until you're then make clean the folks at Brita would be proud.

Now, I desire you to yell, "My ass is on fire!" I actually practise, but for the correct reasons. So stick to patently water when you douche and skip whatsoever chemicals. Besides, make sure the tip of the instrument is soft and well lubricated or yous'll tear the lining of your anus.

There'due south a shitload of douching options, including the inexpensive "Fleet" bottles you can buy at drug stores, ear syringe bulbs for cleaning the inner ear and specialized rectal hygiene bulbs specifically made to brand your ass shine similar a evidence machine.

The Vulcanite Anal Douche Rectal Syringe seedling is a skilful instance. Tell your mom you want one for Christmas.

Contributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his latest ebook, "See the Hottie in the Corner." Accept a question for Need Woods? Simply {encode="[email protected]" title="send information technology in"}.